October 20, 2015

How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking “albino” on the form. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? Oh, like when they say “poofter” to mean “tourist”, yes. The only thing more terrifying than … Read More


May 3, 2015

Are all the guys in hereā€¦ you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It’s never the ones you hope. That’s how Tony Wonder lost a nut. I’m foolish and I’m funny and I’m needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I’m not needy? ‘Cause I feel … Read More

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